I have a confession to make. But you have to promise not to stone my house.
Do I have your word?
Okay. Read on then.
We left church today.
And by ‘left church’ I mean to say that just before the pastor’s sermon, Jeff and I plotted an easy escape route before physically standing and quickly departing.
We didn’t stay.
We left.
Before the sermon.
I know.
Stone worthy.
But you promised.
Here’s the thing: we need a new church.
Desperately.
For many reasons.
The first of which is that the church we currently attend is a forty minute drive from our house.
The second of which is that the church we currently attend has two pastors. One of whom is truly gifted in the ways of inspiring and connecting with the congregation. The other, well, just not so much.
The second pastor insists on memorizing the Gospel and reciting it aloud. Instead of reading it. And I use the term ‘memorize’ loosely because he just really butchers it every. time.
And then there is this praise team leader who seems to really enjoy the spotlight. She gives herself lots of solos. Lots and lots of them. That, in itself, I could almost overlook. The clincher, though, is that she is sometimes relegated to lead prayers.
Again, the spotlight thing.
I swear she must keep a thesaurus hidden up there somewhere because she comes up with about a gazillion words that all mean the same thing. And she meanders her way through prayers as if she is trying to win a Guinness record for lengthiest pray-er.
All of it collided today.
And we just couldn’t sit through.
No stoning. Remember?
After our great escape we discussed the need for a new church. Not that this was the first discussion. Oh no. Not by a long shot.
But finding a new church is hard.
Especially when you live so far from the boundaries of civilization. And when you happen to be (admittedly) wary of organized religion.
Now is the time to go congregation shopping though.
It’s much harder, you see, to go unnoticed in an uncomfortable situation when you traipse into a service with four children in tow. The Brady Bunch thing just doesn’t lend itself to anonymity, kwim?
So Jeff and Jayce and I will be dipping our toes in local church waters over the next few weeks while the girls are away at dad camp.
If for no other reason than now we can’t possibly revisit the scene of our shameful crime.
Leave it to me to burn church bridges.
Nice.
No stoning, huh? How about pebbling? Can I at least kick sand at you?
Yeah, church shopping is the worst. One church we visited had us bolting for the door. It was…Really. Bad. Really. I’ll have to do a blog post on that one. So I feel for you!
But still, how about if I use those styrofoam stones like they use in movies?
Oh, this is not stone-worthy! It’s good you listened to the prompting to get out while you could. It’s a good thing! (and when I typed that it accidentally typed “god thing”… so that, too!)
Anyway- we had to make that difficult move about 2 yrs ago and it was super hard because our former pastor was my BIL’s dad and all our family went there. But, we did what was best for US and the kids and our well was DRY. We were thirsty.
I hope you find the perfect place for you!
Steph
Good luck hunting! We’ve been blessed to love our community. There have been a few changes, but the people in the community are too good to leave. Of course, the whole Catholic thing makes it sometimes easier to stay in a church anyway, since the most important part is the same everywhere.
I don’t think you burned any bridges; no one there knows why you “had to” leave. But if that is motivation for you to finally do some church shopping, good for you!
We’re (or I should say I’m) not really all that happy with the church we go to (on occasion), but I don’t feel like shopping around anymore since we aren’t going to be here very long.
Yeah, I haven’t gone to church regularly in ages for a lot of the reasons you listed, so I will most definitely not be stoning your house!
we are currently leaving our church too. It’s a hard position to be in, and it’s tough to do so elegantly, unless one is moving. If only we could SAY we were moving…
You’ll have to keep us posted. We do the 30 minute commute to church…we love our church, but not the trip and our main pastor is leaving.
Good luck.
It took us over a year of living here and shopping around before we found a good fit. And in the town where we lived before (for 5 1/2 years) we NEVER found the right one. It’s definitely hard.
You do need one closer to home though – I can’t imagine getting 6 people up and ready and out the door to drive 40 minutes and arrive on time.
Are you open about the denomination, or do you want to stick with what you’ve got? We made a denomination change here and it’s been a really good thing. Wish we had tried that sooner, maybe we would have found a home church near our old home.
Hang in there. There is no perfect church, no perfect people, but keep your eyes on the Lord and He will guide you.
We have been there before and we approached it with a
“Take us to a place that best suits our ability to serve.”
~Blessings~
Good luck with the church shopping. No stoning – but I can’t believe you got up and left after getting dressed to go and driving 40 minutes! You should have at least slept in and decided to look for a new church the next week – sheesh!
Ok, for a moment there I was wondering if you and your husband left during church to have a much-needed mini date nearby whilst your children were safely ensconced in church child care. Wow, can you tell that I’ve fanasized about that before? ;) Best of luck finding a new church home! We have been at our current church for 2 yrs now and the fellowship we’ve been blessed with has made all the difference. Hope you find one with lots of good families to hang out with!
Okay, I did a blog post about the church shopping I mentioned earlier. Warning: Don’t drink the Kool Aid.
I really can’t say I blame you. It really is the people that make or break a church, and I’m sure we all understand your feelings. Church hopping is the worst. I remember one about 10 years ago where Rick and I were almost to the door, when we heard the pastor HOLLERING from the pulpit. We both did an auto 180 and ran back to the car. Not our type and we knew it right away.
I hope you’re able to find a good one. We’re currently without one and need to change that, but it’s hard to go back after time away. I wish you the best!
Great honest post! I actually have been meaning to write a post about church on my blog too.
I’m sort of skeptical of “organized religion” too…and my husband is a pastor. ;)
That said, I’m happy to be a part of the VCC community. If you want to check it out, let me know and I’ll give you the service times and such. But no pressure…