I remember the outfit I chose for my first day of high school. It’s downright laughable now, but back in the day that floral print shirt paired with acid-washed daisy dukes and hiking boots was haute. Seriously. Tomorrow morning, I will officially become the mother of two high school girls: one senior and one freshman. When I picked the freshman up from orientation this afternoon she practically floated into the car. I remember that. I remember the bubbly feeling of taking those first steps toward independence. I remember being so sure that I knew who I was. Where I was going. How effortlessly I would get There. Confession: I might have been off, a little. There’s a good chance my daughters aren’t 100% sure yet of who they’re going to become. I can’t answer that for them, but I can offer some timeless advice for teen girls in hopes that it at least nudges them along the right path. That these words will sink into their heads and their hearts and that they won’t soon forget.
1. You matter. Your worth can’t be measured by the grades you earn, the clothes you wear, or the boys who show interest in you (trust me on that one). You are a child of God. He has a plan for your life.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Be faithful and trust in His timing. Allow Him to bring you to completion. Find your worth in Him alone.
2. Other people matter, too. There will be days when your hair won’t cooperate and your favorite jeans are dirty and you miss the bus. When those days come I want you to remember that someone, somewhere lost every last strand of her hair in a battle for her life. Someone doesn’t have a pair of shoes that fit, much less a pair of fashion jeans. Someone, somewhere doesn’t have the opportunity to ride a bus or even attend a safe school. Count your blessings, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. And on those days, do something kind for someone else. Humbly serving others will make you feel richly blessed.
3. Be who you are. There is a time and a place for uniformity, but high school isn’t that place. Don’t ever compromise your values–what you know to be true–in order to more closely resemble the populace; the populace is overrated. Dr. Suess was right on the mark when he said,
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
4. Do hard things. Good things don’t come to those who just wait. Good things come to those who show up. Those who sweat. Those who sacrifice. Don’t choose the path of least resistance. God doesn’t promise us a life of ease, but those hard times–those hard things–are what grow us. He promises,
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8
5. You’re not there yet. Some people will tell you that the four years you spend in high school will be the best of your whole life. Don’t buy into it. The four years you spend in high school will be fun and adventurous and memorable. You’ll take steps towards adulthood and you’ll discover things you might never have known about yourself. Here’s the thing, though: if you peak in high school, you’ve got a lifetime of downhill in front of you. How lousy would that be? Have fun but do so with the knowledge that the world is waiting for you to graduate–to see what you will do with your one wild and precious life. I, for one, am certain that high school is but a springboard. I cannot wait to see where you go from there.
Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap! :)
Here in N Ireland at the equivalent stage of school – on my first day I wore the same as every other day – school uniform including blouse, tie, blazer, navy skirt, grey socks and black school shoes ….. I would have loved to have worn what you wore!
Great advice – must save this for my daughters.
Thanks for your comment, Janmary. I have to ask: were your uniform tops emerald green? ;)
I have an incoming sophomore boy myself…sending him to high school was bigger for me than any of my kids going to kindergarten. His first year of high school was definitely a much more positive experience than the three years of h3ll he endured in middle school, but we see him struggling the most with #3-4.
I have one of those songs too that I wish every young girl (I have two incoming middle school girls this year too) is a song by Jewel called “What You Are” so good…. (here’s a link…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akEeTcAhpL0 )
Thank you much, this song made me cry. Just want I needed.
Absolutely amazing! My favorite bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11! Matt quoted this verse to me when I had my miscarriage and I have never forgotten it and haves loved it ever since! Great advice for your daughter and trust me when I say I’ll refer back to this when my own head off to HS! Good luck to K as she begins this year!!!!
It’s a very inspiring verse, isn’t it? Definitely one of my favorites.
LOVE this! I am saving this for my kids. Great advice, great words. Have to agree about high school being a springboard. There’s so much more.
So true!! I have two freshmen this year–one high school, one college–and in some ways I think your post is fitting for college too. I’m linking up to this this weekend. Thanks for the thought you put into this.
Thank you for commenting, Shelly. I can see how a college freshman could use this same advice–just slightly tweaked maybe. I’ll have to print it out and save it for my HS senior for next year!
Yes! I am already trying to imprint these things on their hearts. And I enjoyed high school, but the confidence and faith I have now blows those years out of the water!
Also, Beautiful by Mercy Me is another fantastic song for us and our kids.
Great advice. For some reason, I imagine K is one who will follow her own path and not do something just because everyone else is doing it. Very confident in herself and definitely has her own style!
Thank you for this! Guess what?
I’m an incoming freshman this year (15! Like in Taylor Swift’s song. ;) ), and I really appreciate the advice you gave in this article. I’ll definitely have to keep all of this in mind when I’m having my bad days, and I feel like I’ve GOT to link up this post on my blog, since I have friends friends that read it and will probably benefit from reading this.
Thanks again!! :)
What a wonderful post, Darcie. You’re an incredible mom (and writer) with great insight. The truths you convey in this post are so universal, yet somehow deeply personal. I wish my freshman self could have read this post (although that stinker probably wouldn’t have listened!)
Oh, how to raise these girls of ours… Your post full of respectful challenges and encouragement is sure a start:-)
Thanks for the inspiration!
Very nice. I wish I had someone to share it with.
These are important words. I especially appreciate #5. It bewilders and saddens me when people make comments about high school or college being “the best years.” Adulthood is WAY better…and I expect that things will continue to go “up and up” from here. :)
I’d just like to thank the author of this article, for giving some really awesome advice. In less than a month I’ll be heading off to highschool for the first time. I’ve been feeling really nervous lately but after reading this article I feel alot more confident and prepared. It really inspired and was a great reminder that God will always be there for me and has a plan for my future!
You don’t know how God just used you. I’m a freshmen and I’m super scared and I ask God to talk to me and then came your blog and helps me so much
This inspired me sooo much thank you! I’m going to be a freshmen this year too, and oh my goodness I was nervous, but I’m not so nervous anymore after reading this! Thanks again! :)
I’m going to be a freshman in a week and I am so nervous but once i read this now I feel confident and I think ill make it in highschool. Thank you that was great advice
This means a lot to me. My (deceased) mom sadly can’t make me feel better about being a freshman. Ugh, thank you so much.
Thank you!! I’m in 8th grade going into high school next year, and I am just plain out terrified and about the feeling that I’m gonna to be a high schooler soon. When I found this pin on Pinterest I thought ‘yes!’. This really helps with that fearful feeling, and God bless you!!