There came life

Right now, life in transition roars like static in my ears. It rushes in blurred streaks like cars on the freeway. It is neither here nor there but clustered in tight bunches, dotted across the map. Within upheaval there is the risk of certain memories fading and so I’m pressing an inconceivable pause button long… Continue reading There came life

High risk

When I was sixteen and pregnant they said I was high risk. My age, I guess. And then there was the fact that I didn’t put on as much weight as they would have liked. It led to frequent ultrasounds and appointments during which they’d hook monitors up to my belly and inspect the printout… Continue reading High risk

What “I’m not your friend; I’m your mom” really means

  I don’t remember if she ever said the actual words to me (though I suspect she did) but I grew up knowing full well that my mom was not my friend. I had friends whose moms were their friends–and I was always jealous. They would share late night talks and gossip and secrets–sometimes from… Continue reading What “I’m not your friend; I’m your mom” really means

Roots and wings

It’s been over a month since with one ticket round-trip and and the other one-way I got on a plane with her and we flew to Florida.  We shopped and we ate ice cream.  We bought toilet paper and sponges for her first apartment.  And then I stood outside on a curb and  while I… Continue reading Roots and wings

Dream catch her

Sometimes, I think my weeks are themed.  Like sometimes the theme is ‘clumsy’ and other times the theme is ‘karma’.  This week, it’s clearly all about a dream. Not just mine–though, there is that too. Yesterday a box arrived and as soon as I saw it there was a catch in my breath–an urgency to… Continue reading Dream catch her

At His feet

Nineteen.  Skin grew tight–walls closed in.  She stepped up to the edge and fluttered her wings.  Watching from the nest, all I could see was the fall. I laid it at His feet. Young love like rushing water. I laid it at His feet. A midnight text.  Shattered glass and screeching tires.  Metal peeled and… Continue reading At His feet