We’ve done it again. We’ve braved three airports and two flights with four children in tow. You might be wondering how we do it. I have but one word for you: carefully.
We take up an entire row on an airplane – from one window, across the aisle and all the way over to the window on the other side of the plane. We’ve discovered that the best seating arrangement is to have all three girls sit together on one side of the aisle, with Torri in the middle, while Jeff, Jayce and I sit just across the aisle. That way the girls can share use of the portable DVD player. Torri has been relegated to act as referee to her two younger siblings; without her to cushion them, those two tend to fight like Tyson and Holyfield.
Wouldn’t you know that our flights to Orlando just couldn’t go off without a hitch.
One of our neighboring flyers was definitely not a HQP. In fact, I’m fairly certain she smelled bad.
About 3/4 way through the flight from Albuquerque to Orlando I ventured across the aisle to assist Cassidy in the tightening of her seatbelt. While I was struggling with the latches, the woman (whom I’ll refer to as mean brunette) in the seat directly in front of Cassidy, ahem, addressed me.
Mean Brunette: Excuse me, I think I can propose a remedy to this situation.
Mean Brunette: Your child is kicking my seat.
Me: Oh, I’m sorry.
Mean Brunette: Well you see, this middle seat is empty. Perhaps she could move to the middle seat and kick away.
Me: Yeah, um, the problem is that her and her sister tend to rip each other’s hair out at the roots whenever they come within three inches of one another. Unless you are a paramedic, that proposal isn’t such a great idea. I apologize about the seat kicking though. I’ll talk to her.
Meanwhile, Jeff pipes up from across the aisle.
Jeff: (addressing mean brunette) You know, you could move to the middle seat.
Mean Brunette: (completely taken aback) Well! Are you proposing I move to accommodate your child?
Me: (butting back in) I do apologize for the kicking. She is a special needs child and behavior is something we really struggle with. I can’t put her next to the redhead because they’d both end up beaten and bloody and that would put a serious damper on our family vacation.
Mean Brunette: Well then. Maybe the redhead should be more well behaved.
This is where I had to take a deep breath ya’ll. My tendency would be to show her that I , in fact, could be more well behaved. I’ve been working hard though on not speaking out of anger and you should all be proud because I totally held my tongue.
The mean brunette first moved to the middle seat. By the time I had finished with the seat belt she had moved to the aisle seat of the empty row behind the girls. As she went she told me, in no uncertain terms, that she was none too happy about moving to accommodate my child.
My response to which was to smile sweetly and thank her kindly for her consideration.
You know what they say, after all, you catch more mean brunettes flies with honey.
More updates to come!