God holes

Admittedly, I live a pretty cush life.  Among my blessings, I count a strong faith foundation, an amazing family, dear friends and financial security.  Those are the rose colored glasses through which I presently view the world.  My days are so full of life and love that I seldom reflect on the despair I know in my head is out there.

There come moments, though, that stop me cold.  Like when I learned that the man who inspired this post took his own life.

I didn’t know him.  But, together with my husband, I did spend one really great summer evening with him and his family.  At the time, he was a blissful newlywed and the doting father of a precious newborn baby.  A lot can change in three years.

News like that gives me pause.  It makes me stop and consider the countless people I interact with every single day.  Just beyond my safe and quiet little bubble is a world clouded with pain that I can’t imagine–desperation I simply can’t fathom.  So many lost and lonely souls who hide it well.  How is it that the same people who shine like a light can be so overwhelmed with darkness?  I’ll never know.

One of my friends recently shared a story during Bible study in which she mentioned the “God hole”.  The God hole, as she described it, is the space in one’s life that only God can fill.  There are those who stumble upon that space and try to cram it with anything and everything: relationships, work, sex, alcohol.  It might be an unconscious action; they might not even realize there is a hole that needs filling.  But still that space nags.  It yearns to be made whole.  No matter how we try, though, nothing short of God’s abiding love can fill us.

In 2 Corinthians 1:8-9, Paul writes:We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”

I can’t speak to the faith foundations of Jeff’s friend.  But with this Scripture as backing, I can say that God allows us to endure suffering because He desires that we rely on Him in all things, for all things and through all things.

None of us can fill another person’s God hole.  But each of us can reflect the light and love of God on those with whom we walk this weary land.  I hope to do more of that each day, in memory of so precious a life, gone too soon.


2 Replies to “God holes”

  1. It’s such a painful thing to go through. I think my biggest struggle in a similar situation was thinking of how completely alone and/or hopeless the person felt at the time. I don’t want anyone’s child feeling that way, no matter how old they are. I’ll keep them and you all in prayer. Much love to you.

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