He’s baaaa-aack.
Not that you ever knew he was gone. Seems I have an aversion to announcing to the wide internets that my husband is out of town on business. You know, inviting the crazies and all.
He’s back now. After four long days away, in Dublin, Georgia. Which has nothing on Dublin, Ireland, I’d venture to guess.
We welcomed him back to the madness with a spaghetti dinner–the mess from which likely rivals that from a full-fledged food fight.
I missed him.
No. Not just because there were eight-legged creepie crawlies to extinguish and smelly trash receptacles to lug to the curb.
I miss him when he’s gone. I don’t sleep right–awaking to every little bump in the night.
We’re one of those couples that go to bed together (I mean literally people, don’t let your minds wander) every single night. We brush our teeth side by side before methodically stripping the decorative pillows from the bed and pulling back the comforter. Every night, we crawl under the sheets simultaneously, both of us exhaling the second our heads hit our respective pillows.
And then we talk. Sometimes for just a moment or two, and sometimes long into the night. Either way, it’s a ritual I’ve come to require, in order to drift slowly to dreamland. We’ve taken a stab at the ritual via phone, but it just isn’t the same.
Tonight, though? I’ve got the real thing. And after three virtually sleepless nights, something tells me I’ll sleep like a baby.
I’m curious, though. Am I a wimp and a wuss all rolled into one? Do you lose sleep when/if your spouse has to pick up and go for a day or two? I’ve heard tell that some wives actually enjoy the time alone. Is it thoroughly disgusting that we lie in bed talking every night? Or is that a pretty standard thing for married folk? On which side do you fall?
It is good that you don’t announce when he’s gone so it does keep the crazies away. My husband goes away two or three times a year and I always say that I’m going to enjoy sleeping in the middle of our queen size bed, but honestly I do have trouble sleeping. There’s something about having my protector in bed next to me…
I’m lucky that my husband doesn’t travel too often but this past month he was gone 6 days. I don’t like it either. I constantly check the doors to make sure they’re locked. It’s not a restful night when he’s away.
I like that I have a few extra minutes of “me” time after the kids are tucked away, but I miss him when I finally get to bed, and I seep horribly…
Fortunately my DH rarely is gone overnight, but when he is I cannot sleep either. We also go to bed at the same time every night, so without that ritual I am lost.
You already know I’m a wimp and a wuss! I don’t know how I lived alone for so long; I guess you just guess used to it. We usually go to bed at the same time too, which I really like, but sometimes I just find too much to do around bedtime.
I always feel that I’m doing women’s rights a little unjustice when I miss my husband so much when he’s gone or when I’m scared at every little crack and creek in the house. But then again, I was never big on the whole women’s rights movements…or at least what they’ve become recently.
My husband and I go to bed together almost every night too. He brushes his teeth while I wash my face. He rinses with mouthwash while I brush my teeth…
And while I do so miss him in bed, there are some nights when I’m thankful to have the TV all to myself! But I can only handle that for one night. After that I just want to call out, “You’ve got to come in here and see this totally crazy awesome thing I’m watching on TV right now!”
I am pretty good on my own and don’t mind a few days without the hubby around because it means we can eat things like fruit salad for dinner or a bowl of cereal….but as soon as night time hits and it’s time to go to bed,I turn into a big baby and sleep horribly! And we talk at night too…there’s just something very intimate about sharing that dark end of the day moments together that make us both feel relaxed enough to spill it and share…..
We’re the exact same as you!
I think what you have is sweet and wonderful and I envy it. A lot.
I always have a hard time the first night, but exhaustion eventually sets in and I can sleep. We don’t always go to bed at the same time though.
I am the same way! We do usually go to bed at the same time, and I don’t sleep well when he is not there. I also have a constant feeling of unease the whole time he is gone. Glad your Honey is back!
I’m glad you’re able to sleep and I don’t think you’re a wuss at all! Just in love with your hubby, which is wonderful! We’re fortunate that neither one of us has to travel for work and we don’t do any overnight trips without each other. I think talking in bed before sleep is great…no distractions!
I miss my husband something terrible when he’s gone. I don’t sleep well when he’s not home. Unfortunately he’s gone one to two nights a week flying to London or Tokyo. We go one step further than phone calls. We actually get on Google video chat. Sometimes we simply leave the chat going while I go about my day in the house and he goes about sleeping. I feel much better when I can see or hear him as he sleeps so far away.
So talk away with Jeff as you lay side by side. You Darcie have a marriage that many people don’t have…nor will they ever.
OMG – reading everyone’s comments I feel terrible saying – PLEASE PLEASE go somewhere – do something – let me have “Me Time” but then again I am old and have been married 37 years. All joking aside, I know how you feel, even though he drives me nuts I know when I round that last curve to go home I look to see his truck is in the driveway and if it isn’t – well, I say “Yay, I hope he found someone else to drive nuts”. OK, really seriously, I know how you feel, it is the person who knows you inside and out and puts up with all your good days and bad days and you might be sitting across the room and all of a sudden you start saying something at the same time – like you know he knows what you are thinking about (and he does) and you are joined at the hip (except for the two puppies that sleep between us) and I can go on and on but I won’t – when you are married to Jeff for 37 years – you will know what I mean.
We also go to bed every night at the same time, although I’m almost always tucked in first. Hubby seems to linger checking on the kid, pets, doors, etc. However, he’s usually asleep before me b/c I just gotta read. Talk? Not so much. When I’m tired, I am in no mood to talk. When he’s away, I can’t sleep. I sleep like a protected baby when he’s home!
I’m so glad to hear that your hubby is home!
I totally don’t sleep as well when Chris is gone. There’s safety in knowing my whole family is in our home, safety in knowing that if anything happens he’ll take care of all of us, comfort in knowing the man of my dreams is right next to me, comfort in hearing his deep breathing and feeling his warmth.
Totally with you on this one! I endured 10 days of restless nights when my husband was in Sydney in August and am not looking forward to the 28 days between now and Oct 13th that he will be traveling. I stay up too late and eat horribly when he’s away. I mostly dislike the sense of being “on” in regards to the kiddos and the house and everything else 24/7 without him around. Plus he’s the one who does the dishes, and ooo boy, can they pile up fast when he’s gone!!
My husband travels A LOT…in one month he can be gone 15 days or more. It sucks and I hate it. I do not sleep well at all…but mostly because I wear ear plugs when he’s here, but I don’t when he’s gone because I think that I need to be alert and then every little sounds wakes me up. And also I have to take the kids to school when he travels (he usually takes them), so it requires me to get up and moving in the morning and throws off my whole day. And I hate being the 24/7 parent and truthfully I get resentful if he travels too much in a row.
I don’t say to the world when he’s gone, but since his job is social media, he tweets and FB and Foursquare about where he is and many people know that we are connected so the internet world does know that I am alone and yes, it freaks me out.
As for going to bed together, when he is home, we do not. He stays up very late working usually and if he does come to bed while I’m still awake it’s not because he wants to talk (if you know what I mean). Or he just passes out because he’s exhausted from staying up too many nights in a row.
I think that it is soooo sweet that you go to bed together and talk to each other as you fall asleep. That is true intimacy.
Tim & I are the same way. We have dinner together, do bath time together, put the girls to bed together, work side-by-side, and then…talk into the night. Until our eyelids droop from exhaustion.
I sleep fitfully when he is away.
Well, McDaddy is gone A LOT. He travels quite a bit with his civilian job and even more with the military. Deployment was the most depressing time of my life. And 81% of that was because of the QUIET NIGHTS after the kids went to bed. I was lonely and I missed just talking to him. Looking at him. Hearing him breath on the pillow beside me. It’s not easy but it’s just the life I’m used to. When he leaves on business, I usually don’t even know if he’ll be home in 1 day or 3 days, so it makes planning very tough. We operate with the assumption that he won’t be here, and if he is, I remember to be thankful and grateful. Still, we are blessed!
So, I feel pretty qualified to speak on this subject…DH is about to wrap-up a year-long deployment to Afghanistan. Sleeping alone gets easier, and you do migrate to the middle of the bed. I still hate lugging the trash cans to the curb, though….
And you’re not a wus. The first few days (and the last few) are always the hardest.