How My Wife Corrupted Me

In case the title didn’t give it away, it’s Jeff again and I’m back for another fill-in assignment. This time, I wanted to let you all in on something I’m sure you never knew. Darcie is, hands down, the sweetest person I’ve ever met, albeit in her own unique way. She is kind, gentle, and walks closely with Christ. All of this being said, she also has the potential to corrupt. I spent 25 years of my life without ingesting a single drop of alcohol. These weren’t 25 years of being sheltered. 9 of them were spent in the Army amongst some of the hardest drinkers I’ve ever seen. Also, my parents drink, my friends drink, and I am not morally opposed to it – it just wasn’t for me.

I escaped got out of the Army in March of 2005. To this point in our year and a half of marriage, Darcie lamented the fact that she always had to drink alone. Apparently the advantage of a permanent designated driver didn’t outweigh the benefits of a drinking buddy. However, I still held fast in my teetotaler ways.

I’ll never forget driving home from work on my last day wearing the uniform. I walked in the door and for the first time in my 25 years of life, I decided that a nice cold drink sure sounded nice. While I can’t say for certain that it was completely caused by her insistence, I like to point to that as the source – after all, I’ve never been able to tell her no. It might have been the fact that I wanted to drink on my terms, or that after 9 years in uniform, I had enough stored-up reasons to spend the rest of my days in a drunken stupor.

I’ll never really know for sure, but – I do know that Darcie at least contributed to my transformation from a Designated Driver into an enjoyer of wine, beer, and spirits. So, that is how my wife corrupted me. But, for the record, I’m not complaining.  Just sayin’.

9 comments

  1. Chocolate Cake Shots, Oatmeal Cookie Shots, party games…….I’ve seen you in action……..You have caught up to my SIL and I think you are lovin’ it……..Just sayin.

    1. Not sure about that, I’ve been a mixologist for quite some years. She did help out maximize my potential as a drinking buddy, though.

  2. Darcie is smart. Think of all the delicious cold beverages you might have missed out on, had she not corrupted you!

    1. She is more than smart – she is devious! The biggest thing I would have been missing out on is Food & Wine Festival at Disney World… that truly would have been a tragedy.

  3. Too funny…I too have shared a beverage or 5 with you and oh what fun we had!!! Jeff, you make me smile.

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